Relationships
and by extension, marriages are not built on love. Because it takes more than
just love to keep and sustain any form of relationship. The world is in a
serious comatose of broken marriages everywhere, broken relationships too are
not exempted. And one begins to beg to wonder – if they didn’t actually love
each other when the going was going smooth.
Truth is,
we get attracted by love. We get carried away by the beauty, handsomeness,
kindness, generosity, humor and all other endearing factors when we enter into
most relationship. And as such, naturally, we tend to want to spend more time
with our partners. Quality time spent together over a long period of time will
develop into affections.
The
infatuation aspect of it too cannot be over-emphasized! In fact, this is the
driving force in 99% of relationships. An immense sexual attraction between two
opposite gender; the ability to meet and satisfy each other’s sexual demand has
even led to the birth of most relationships.
Ironically,
this ability in meeting each other sexual need has in most cases being
described as love. On the contrary, to sustain a relationship, sexuality is not
the only factor to be considered. Neither is love enough on itself.
What then
is required to build long lasting relationships and marriages?
Sacrifice!
The ability
to stay committed when things go south; the ability to show loyalty in the
presence of obvious weaknesses. We can’t pretend that everything our partner
does is fine with us. Some things don’t usually go well with us, some
attitudes, some behaviors, even some characters turns us off.
The not so
good news accompanying the aforementioned is that, you can never change them;
simply because most of this characters, behaviors and attitudes have been
formed over many years of growing up. So, it is a pure waste of time and energy
when one attempts to change his partner.
What is
expected is that we first recognize that no one is perfect, no one will ever
be. Quitting a relationship or walking out of a marriage due to perceived
imperfection is just a matter of running in circles because even in the next
relationship/marriage, you are heading, the likelihood to witness far worse
conditions are very high – the devil you know is better than an angel
you just met!
Having
recognized that no one is perfect, next step is respecting the differences of
both parties. Evaluate each other’s strength and weaknesses in the
relationship/marriage. Help each other to be a better person. Encourage one and
other.
Outside
attractions within the relationship are still bound to happen, but the level of
sacrifice and commitment one have towards the relationship will determine how
it’s being handled. It takes sacrifice to draw the line and not love, because,
sacrifice is all about self-denial.
The world
will be a better place if truly we can love our spouses/partners and stay
committed to making them happy. Do you agree that it takes more than love to
build any relationship/marriage?
Let us know
your thoughts in the comment section.
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